Steve

Dear Sister,

I hope you received the Karo Nut Pie that we sent you in the mail last week. The girls were so proud that they had made it for you. It took em about an hour to make it and me about two hours to clean the kitchen afterwards.

The little neighbor girl two houses down had a baby yesterday. Her Momma told me she didn't even know she was pregnant, ‘til they called from school and said to come get her she went into labor in Gym class. She's 14 and her name is Roberta. You know, her Momma went to school with us, Bobby Ann Lewis. She was always sayin she was related to Jerry Lee Lewis, and we would say, "Well, so what, he's a ol has-been and pure-D trash. So who cares he's not even famous anymore?" She'd get all mad and cry and say "he is too, you’re just jealous," well, she's the one.

I think she knew that girl was pregnant, she was just in what Oprah calls, Denial. Granted, that Roberta is fond of her Ice Cream sandwiches and is pretty hefty, but Lester and I noticed about two months ago that we thought she was about to drop a calf anytime.

I don't know what they are gonna do. They are already pretty crowded over there with six kids and two bedrooms. I 'm not sure their crowded sleepin conditions didn’t lead to the pregnancy. She must a wanted a good night's sleep without brothers and sisters in the bed with her, but it was evidently in somebody else’s bed.

Lester said they should drown the kid and about half of the rest of em. I always tell him I wish he wouldn’t say these things around Harla and Darla. They already pick up on so much. The other day they came home from school and said that Carolanne Skinkmeyer's Momma had Female Trouble. Then they asked me, "Momma does that mean she's a Lesbian?" Girl, I didn't know what to say. I just said that I think you must have overheard that she is Lutheran and she has to have surgery before she can have anymore kiddos.

I went and got them a Readers Digest supplement that Art Linkletter and Dear Abbey wrote together called, "Kids Ask the Darndest Questions About Petting", and "Reproduction in Mammals". I told them to read it and just never mention it to me again. Do you think I did the right thing? I don't want them to be obsessed or anything abnormal. They only need know that sex is somethin they will have to do when their husbands want it, and the rest of the time they need to cook, sew or think about somethin else. Smoke cigarettes if you have to, but keep busy. I think that's why Momma smoked so much, don't you?

I'm wonderin if you are coming for Thanksgiving this year. We would love for you to, as long as you don't bring any one peculiar with you.

That reminds me, that odd Malcolm guy that lives with his Momma is always asking about you. They still drive that same old funny car and they never mow their grass. When we went to collect for the March of Dimes, the house smelled like mothballs and cat pee when they opened the door. He seems creepy. If the police or the T.V. news people ever asked me about somebody's missing kid, or if I thought any of my neighbors was capable of choppin somebody up, I would just point at their house and say, "You ought to start diggin in their back yard, and then look in the freezer.

I never let the girls play in that lot by their house and I don't let them go door to door sellin peanut brittle, chocolate, or Jr. Achievement Products without an adult with em. Anyway, next time he asks about you, I'll tell him you said ‘Hey’.

I better go. I'm Car poolin Harla and Darla's Sunday school class to a screening of the Ten Commandments, that they are showin in the fellowship hall of the Church. We have been involved with the "Alternatives to Disney Ministry" in the Church. We have an approved list of movies that the kids can watch, and we rent them and have them watch them at the Church, with a group discussion afterwards, with Brother Kenny and his wife, Haroldean.

He was a Missionary in Africa for four years after College, and she Witnessed to drug addicts in New York City, so they are very knowledgeable, as well as blessed by the spirit.

Well, we’re late and I want to have time to have a couple of drinks while the girls are watchin’ the movie.

Bye now and remember, we love you, anyway.