Steve

Dear Sister,

I’m sure by now I should just assume that you would never write me back like I write you. Irregardless I will do my best to keep the channels of communication a goin. I knew when we wuz little that it would always be my place to help you, guide you and show you the way.

You would have got run over by a car or bitten by a snake or bashed over the head a long, long time ago if it wasn’t for me. I know your not feelin comfortable about thanking me for all this is just guilt and humiliation so I accept your apology and your thanks.

Girl, Harla and Darla are gettin ready to sell the Girl Scout cookies again. Lester thinks I’m pushy cause I take my Sunday school phone list and the P.T.O. directory and call every name. I have gotten everybody on our whole street and all the people at Lester’s work to buy some cookies from both girls. I always tell them we have two girls so a two box minimum please. If the girls win this year they will win a trip to San Antonio. Lester and I haven’t been since our Honeymoon.

I heard the crime is way down on the Riverwalk and fewer people get their cars stolen while they’re sightseeing. We never will forget our second night there they drained the river and found a whole bunch of silverware from the restaurants and a drowned Hooker all swollen and bloated from bein in the water for three days. If they win we want to take em to see the Alamo. Also they should see Fiesta Texas, whatever that is I hear it’s like a Mexican Sea World.

Tippy Herzog was there closest competition last year but this year she’s had the flu and her grandmother died so we’re hopin that’s put her way behind. I think Wanda Herzog, Tippy’s Momma, had done a lot of her sellin for her. She’s a County Probation Officer and she shows people leniency if they buy cookies from her little buck toothed brat. She also tried to get everybody at the courthouse to buy cookies from her. Evidently she’s a big deal at their church and suckers everybody there too. It’s some funny off-brand religion too. Seventh day Adventist or Agnostics or Pragmatics not anything just regular everyday normal people go to anyway.

The neighbor ladies rat terrier, Spunky, had puppies behind our washing machine last night. We hope that we can do some laundry before the weekend without disturbing them. She had nine and ate two. Harla and Darla were shocked by that. I told em that’s the way wild animals out in nature take care of a terrible, terrible birth defect or stillborns. And they don’t have no Pope tellin them they’re wrong either.

Heidi Reinstater and her Hubby Ralph have called it quits. It seems he never really got over some girl he knew in the service and he found her on the Internet and started things back up. Heidi moved in with her folks above the Quick Mart for now but she says he’s not gettin the trailer and had better be lookin for some place to move come the first of the month.

The other split up in town came as a real surprise to everyone. You know Danny Lee Lyle that runs the F.T.D. florist and does everybody’s funeral flowers. Well, he evidently got mad at Mr. Sean , you know the one that dyes his hair and everybody else’s in town over at the Mr. Sean’s Wig Wam. He broke all their dishes and crystal and stuff and threw it in the yard along with all of Danny Lee’s tapes and c.d.’s and stuff. He told him to get out and never come back.

A lot of the older folks were so shocked because they didn’t even know that they were together, let alone havin problems. So it looks like we might be without a hairdresser or a florist or both. Wait and see.

Come see us soon. Remember we love you. Anyway.