Steve

Dear Sister,

Our Church asked us if we would ride into Houston on a bus with em and protest the Gay Pride Parade. Well Girl, we just didn't think we could do that, because of you and because of our nephew Ricky Bob, who lives with his little friend in Corpus Christie, but we didn't know how to tell them about it so we said we had the Flu.

They didn't believe it and they wanted Lester to drive the bus, so they showed up at our door honkin', Saturday night about 6 and forced us to go with em.

They had made up all kinds of posters and stuff to carry at the parade. One of em was kinda cute, it had two Mickey Mouses holdin hands, and a Minnie Mouse off to the side in a wedding veil, cryin' her eyes out. I wanted to carry that one, because I thought its message kinda backfired on em anyway. Minnie needs to go find her a Mickey that does want her, and leave the one alone that dud'nt. I learned that from a made for T.V. Movie I saw once.

And then they had the same ones they always carry everywhere. They have Rush Limbaugh on one side, and a little aborted fetus on the other side. That way they get two signs out of one. Like they're green or into conserving paper or anything. They're Cheap!! The only thing they are into conserving is their own Green, Paper Money.

When we got there we had a hard time parking. We had to walk about two blocks to get closer. When the minister's wife walked past this one group of kids, this one tall one, I think his shirt said his name was Tommy Hill-somethin-or-other. Well anyway, he yelled in the Minster's wife's ear. "Love your hair, hope it wins!!" She turned three shades of purple. After she had regained her composure she smilingly said to young Tommy: "Jesus Christ Died for your sins." Tommy turned to his friends, took a sip of his beer and said to her, "How many Armadillos died to make your purse?"

She was furious by now, looking down at her purse as it clung to the end of its own tail, with it's little taxidermied teeth forming the purse handle that swung on her scrawny age speckled arm. She took a deep breath, her large Map of Texas earrings, with a cross in the panhandle spinning in the wind. "Just one, just one armadillo had to die to make my purse, Tommy, just like its only gonna take just one, that's right, just one anonymous sex partner to give you the Aids."

Well Girl, everybody got real quiet then. Tommy, looked ol' Donna Joe, that's the ministers wife, up and down and he said, "Well then I'll have to be careful won't I? But you don't have to worry Baby, because you couldn't pay any body in the entire world to get close enough to you to give you the Aids. Not in this lifetime, not in that slacks-suit. Everyday you live your miserable life is one more day you didn't go to Hell yet, because Honey, that's what's waitin for you behind door number three, and you didn't win it, you earned it."

With that said, Tommy and his little group turned and walked away from us until all we could see was those little glow in the dark loops around their necks in the distance.

Donna Joe was speechless. I was just standin there thinking how much Tommy reminded me of Julia Sugarbaker, the way he told her off and then just stalked off into the crowd. Brother Mike, our minister, grabbed Donna Joe by the arm and said: "Lets go down by the Channel 13 cameras and do some good. Don't waste anymore breath on these unfortunates unless it's bein taped."

The next thing any of us knew we could hear: "Aunt Leona, Aunt Leona, up here, up here!!!" There, in front of my church and everybody, was our nephew Ricky Bob, high on top of a Winnebago thing, sittin on top of a huge High Heel with what looked like, a silver king-sized bed sheet trailing off the back of his head. I looked at him, I looked at Donna Joe, and the next thing I heard comin out of my own mouth was: "You Go Girl ... You go Ricky Bob... Lookin good Baby.... We love you....anyway."

We started followin the float so we could talk to Ricky Bob, when he got off at the end of the Parade, and Minister Mike started yellin: "Come back here you're supposed to drive us back to Tomball tonight, Lester."

Lester threw him the keys, and they got caught in Donna Joe's hair. You know, we haven't seen them since. We drove back that night in a Rental car. Nowadays, we are more welcome down at the Domino hall, then we are at the Church, but we are not sure that's all bad .

Bye for now and don't forget, We love you anyway, and you have to remember, that's hard for us to do.