Steve

Dear Sister,

Hope you had a good Easter. I know you probably didn’t go to church but I hope you at least went to one of those all you can eat Brunch things. Our church had a special service with guest stars, Dale Evans Rogers, Gavin McCloed from the Love boat, Anita Bryant, Lu Lu Roman from HEE Haw, and those ugly little twin girls from Full House.

Dale Evans sang. Her voice has got a pretty bad wobble in it but she was still good. Gavin McCleod and that little wife that he cheated on left and came back to were there. They give Christian counseling to couples so they can have a marriage just like theirs. Lu Lu Roman sang a song and said they were gettin’ ready to shoot a full length Hee Haw Movie. I’m sure a lot of those people that were on that will be pretty glad to see some work again. Anita Bryant sang a song called the Straight and Narrow Path. And you know, I don’t know what those hideous little twins did because I stayed up so late the night before dyeing Easter EGGS that the kids say I was snoring with my mouth open when those little girls came on.

The minister almost didn’t have time for his sermon what with all the special guests. But he came out and outlined the plan of salvation real fast in English then in Spanish, and his wife stands off to the side and tells it all in sign language in white gloves so everybody can see., This is all part of their ministry of diversity program. Well it’s a good thing they did it that way, cause a Mexican couple and a little deaf boy were the only ones to come forward and give their lives to Christ. I think everybody else’s Momma had pretty well told em "some other time junior. I’ve got a ham in the oven and we’ve got to get home. One chorus of "Softly and Tenderly" and we’re out of here.

Dottie and Fitzhugh came down from Coppera’s Cove for Easter Sunday. They had to drive back late that night. I don’t think they’ll be makin’ that trip too many more times. They both are actin’ kinda feeble. And the kids said when they went through their luggage there were "Depends" in one of the suitcases. I was glad I had paid extra for "Scotchguard" when they steam cleaned the furniture last time. And oh hey, we did that same thing to the kids, that Momma used to do for us kiddos back home. Where they put the Easter Bunny out a carrot and a glass of milk, we put some Kix cereal on the carpet to look like his droppings. I remember Daddy always sayin’ he didn’t understand how a big cereal company like that would have a rabbit for the spokesperson of Trix and Kix when they both look like rabbit droppings. Oh that reminds me, some kids got drunk and took off through the cemetery in a jeep. They toppled Daddy’s marker over and smashed into the side of the Mausoleum. It was on the news and in the paper. I’ll send you the clipping.